So What, I am 2o-Something and a Virgin?

“Previously published by Thought Catalog at http://www.thoughtcatalog.com.”

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brielle-mroczko/2016/06/im-20-something-virgin-and-that-is-frankly-the-least-interesting-part-about-me/

I have been sending in some of my articles to Thought Catalog. Here is one :]


Don’t think I am narcissistic when I say this, but rather, that I am confident in myself.

I am 21 years old: hot, smart, outgoing, and a virgin.

I’ve dated. I’ve dated A LOT, but its never gotten past the 3 months mark. My longest relationship with a label lasted 3 months, and that was in 6th grade. Considering that, I am not desperate enough to count that as a “real” relationship.

I couldn’t tell you why this single life has been so consistent. My best friends are even bewildered by it. It just never works out. And because I have been single, I am still a virgin.

I’m not prude. I do love to have a good time! I mean I have been given the opportunity to lose it far too many times to different guys. I have denied each and every one because I have self-respect. I have chosen to remain a virgin because I choose to lose it to someone I actually have feelings for, but most importantly, someone that has mutual feelings back.

I won’t deny that I haven’t had the thought of losing it to a complete stranger. I’ve met some handsome gentlemen that have tempted me. Sometimes I even regret not having that one night stand in Vegas because I mean, you only live once, so live it up. I couldn’t bring myself to do it though. I want to have fun and sleep with different people and experience them, because it’s a natural thing our bodies do. I don’t want to only sleep with one person in my whole life.

I will say this though, when I started dating someone I really had feelings for last year, I was glad I had saved it for him. But in the end, I ended up not giving it to him either. I scared him away by defining myself with my virginity. How? My insecurities about my virginity were at their high. I was afraid guys would be scared by it or would think I was weird because It seemed like I was the only virgin left. My friend used to introduce me to her guy friends with, “This is Brielle. She’s a virgin.” It was part of me and who I was.

I let my virginity define me at one point in my life. That ruined a special relationship that I had with someone.

I complain about being a virgin to my best friends because I am jealous of them. I want to experience it.  I am also jealous that I don’t understand what its like to be in a relationship, but I always get over it. I do love being single the majority of the time, but it can be a burden that I am a virgin because I wouldn’t give up my virginity unless I was in a relationship.

I take pleasure in my purity though.

Some guys might be turned off by it or scared of it. They don’t want to taint the virgin, but trust me, I’ve already been tainted by life.

I will save my virginity for the gentleman that wants to accept my love and give me his love in return.

I have had the will power to say “no,” and people are always amazed at how I do it. It’s hard to say “no” to sex. Girls and guys get taken advantage of in these situations. It’s hard to deny sex when it’s right in front of you and feels so good. People lose their virginity to someone they don’t really want to and then regret it and feel insecure about themselves after. I know it’s tempting to just do it and get it over with, but think about it. You don’t want to wake up and regret it the next day. You want to be able to enjoy it and feel comfortable.

So what?

I am 21 years old: hot, smart, outgoing, and a virgin.

Some might say that’s sad. Some might say that’s amazing. Some guys might be freaked out. Some might be turned on by it.

But sex experience doesn’t define a person. So don’t let it define you.

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Being Single and Why It Can Be Amazing

I blame all those Korean dramas and rom-com’s for making me believe in perfection…but I am happy as the independent women! Being single can be so awesome and it can suck sometimes. I feel like a lot of people look down on being single, but honestly, its amazing. I have learned a lot being on my own!
It has been enlightening to me, so here are the things I have learned so far as a single girl.

  1. I have discovered myself. I know what I want to do now and have found the right path for me. I discovered a career path and how much I actually love school.

  2. I can do and travel where ever I want by myself. I can live in a different country without my significant other holding me back.

  3. I have trouble understanding my friends and their relationships because I am single. I am also slightly biased to being single.

  4. Relationships take too much thought and thinking. I do enough of that as a college student, thank you, but no thank you.

  5. School is so much easier when you don’t have boys or girls on your mind.

  6. No matter how many years you have on “the boyfriend,” the best friend will always be placed second. Its a truth I still have a hard time accepting. “Chicks before dicks” and “Bro’s before ho’s” is not a real thing (Most of the time!).

  7. Being the third wheel sucks and is awkward, but yet you always get stuck as the third wheel, because you love your friends.

  8.  And everyone tells me that I am single because I am so picky, but F*** that. I have every right to be picky, and I am glad that I am picky. Because I won’t settle for a guy I kind of like. I want a guy I really like. :]]

  9. I have a perfect image in my head of love and I know its not going to be like that, but I am hopelessly waiting for it.

  10. Once I threw boys out of my life, I found happiness. True happiness. I can’t emphasis this enough. Without guys I found what I wanted and what was going to make me happy. Which doesn’t mean I want boys out of my life forever, but some time without them was needed.

So my advice. Find yourself before you find a life with someone else.

And yes, every relationship is different and this may not always be true, but its a good start if you don’t know where you want to go in life. So pack your bags and head to a different country, or enroll in a cool class, or talk about your future with others. Then you will realize what it is you want.

The Life as the Third Wheeler can be pretty awesome.

At Last,

<Brielle