The moment when we realize we have grown stronger is a pretty awesome moment.
Every-time it is different. Some dramatic, some simple, and some filled with anger.
Some hurt because there is broken expectation. Or some hurt because there is betrayal. No matter what, they are always painful if you care for someone.
It’s a weird feeling of emptiness. There used to be this person in your life and all of the sudden they are gone, and you are left with this “hole like feeling” inside. Its an unique feeling to a break up. With that unique pain, a unique part of you is showcased. When I discovered that “unique person” I swore that I would never become “her” again.
I met my “psycho-self” three years ago when someone completely broke my heart.
I lost it. I basically became the girl in all the movies. I cried. I begged. I got drunk. I brought myself to a new low, but learned a lot in the painful process.
Everyone has to have a low to have a high though.
After I regained my sanity, I promised myself I would never go there again.
Here’s what I have learned.
1.In the midst of a break up moment, I learned to hold my feelings in the pit of my stomach. It saves the drama.
Sit there and listen without emotions taking over the conversation or emotions blocking your ability to speak. When all is said and done, and that door closes, let your feelings emerge out of the pit of your stomach ..or not. Whatever happens behind closed doors is irrelevant.
2.I learned not to deal with gray areas. You don’t need that confusion. Don’t let anyone try to lead you on because they don’t know how to say the words or they don’t know how they feel. Thats their problem and not yours.
Don’t wait for someone to come around. Live your own life and evaluate your relationship. If they come back, cool. Maybe you will have seen that that relationship wasn’t right or maybe in that time you both realized you love each other. But don’t give a person the option to hang you on a string
3.I learned to stand tall, and calmly end it all. It makes you feel stronger., and makes it easier.(didn’t mean to rhyme lol)
4.I learned not to beg. You can’t beg someone to love you or care for you. It’s up to them to decide that. I thought to myself, “by not begging or trying to convince someone to stay with me, does it show that I don’t care?” No.
You have spent the last years or months convincing this person to feel something for you. This one moment won’t change things. —–Unless you fucked up. Then you better start begging.
5.I learned not to throw myself a pity party. Snap yourself out of it.
6.I learned you have to be understanding of someone’s feelings and that sometimes they don’t understand their own feelings. It relieves the anger aspect of it.
Probably the hardest thing to embrace in a break up is that there isn’t always a reason. Sometimes it just is.
7.I learned that being an emotional wreck doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. With every heart break we grow.
8.I learned to just breathe. Drink water. Don’t get a Kidney infection..not fun.
It might be who I am, but when something knocks me down, I use that pain to come back stronger. I push myself to change in some way for the better. Like getting a new job or throwing myself into work. Or joining clubs, moving, or traveling etc.
Its difficult. Someone that was a core part of your life, is gone, and you have to fill those spaces with yourself.