Is Monogamy Lost?

Every time a boy hurts me, for a brief second, I lose faith in them. But naturally the cycle continues and I meet another one.

But this time there hasn’t been one particular boy that hurt me. This time it is just the continuous stories and situations I hear or find myself in that have brought me to my lowest point of faith in boys. 

cheaters.

All of my best friends ex’s, that perfect guy at work, the random guy from that party, my long time best friend, my family friend, and some might say even their parents. At this point it’s like asking, “who hasn’t cheated?” And at this point, I am starting to question whether monogamy is possible? 

At some point will they cheat on you?

If your relationship is built from love, that love is destined to fade, OR change. If your relationship is built from trust and partnership, don’t you believe that it will last? Partnership allows individuals to survive, whereas a love relationship allows uncertainty and is forever changing.

For my House of Cards fans, think Of Claire and Frank Underwoods relationship. Its pure trust, love, and partnership.

In a open relationship you have your person that is your partner who you can rely on to be there for you in need and who will help you survive throughout life. They bring you joy and happiness. You trust them completely and you also love them. But there are billions of other people in the world that bring you joy too. Wouldn’t we like to experience all of the people who give us joy?

Maybe we are looking at love and relationships too narrow-mindedly. As if it is ‘this way’ or the highway aka nothing.

I may be a hypocrite and may be speaking out of my ass. But to me, on paper or in words, it makes sense. As primates, we searched for a mate in order to survive and procreate. So maybe it is still like that? Maybe our instincts should focus on survival and partnership.

However, in the actually world, whether or not I could actually actively achieve my words is another story. But I have opened my mind to something new and a new way of thinking, which I think is deeply beneficial.

I have been heartbroken to see so many people,( people I believed to be good people) cheat. I want to protect myself.

Maybe it is the difference between and man and boy, or girl and woman. Or maybe its just human nature to cheat. So maybe being open in your relationship is a real option.

 

At Last,

Brielle

The Casual Relationship of this Generation

Previously posted on Mogul also:

https://onmogul.com/stories/the-casual-relationship-of-this-generation


There are a lot of things that we all criticize about dating today. It mostly revolves around commitment issues. People love to blame their ex for their broken heart and blame them for the way they are. So because of their ex, they can’t commit.

I fail to believe that this is the case.

Your ex isn’t the reason you don’t want to commit. You just want the fun without the stressors of a relationship. I can’t say I blame you. Relationships are stressful, and who needs them when we are young and beautiful. We can have whoever we want for the night. But you are the one who ignores the angel on your shoulder, and the others who listen to the angel…

 

 

A few drinks in…The devil says sleep with them, while the angel wakes you up in his or her bed the next morning saying you want a relationship and a future with someone.

Then there are other people who ignore the angel on their shoulder and listen to the little devil telling them that casual sex is exciting. The devil whispers to them telling them to escape into an emotionless, non-committable abyss.

I guess in today’s society sleeping around with people is normal? Its something “cool” people do.

Interestingly enough though, sleeping with someone and then listening to the angel on your shoulder and inevitably being rejected, isn’t the hurtful part. What hurts is when all of the people around you tell you that you are better than that. Obviously your girl friends are obligated to tell you that you’re amazing. But when all of your guy friends and even male co-workers look you straight in the eye and start telling you that you better than that, and him/her, it hurts you. Are they telling you, you don’t have the right taste in guys or girls?

If I am “amazing” and “the perfect girl that any guy would be lucky to have you,” why is he just sleeping with me?

It baffles me. Many girls and guys around me are great people. They are beautiful, smart, and fun yet their “significant other” won’t commit.

Maybe its the difference between men/women and boys/girls. But even that I am unsure of.

Maybe you have to do the 5 date rule before you sleep with him or her. But even that…

Maybe you have to act like you don’t care so he or she can chase you. But isn’t that childish?

Or maybe he or she just isn’t the right one. But that’s the hopeless romantic talking, who believes that one day prince charming will show up in her life. Childish?

I cant help but find hope in these situations though.

You slept them, so big deal. It probably wasn’t that great right?  Well he or she is just to caught up in societies norms blaming their ex’s for their destruction and addiction to casual relationships. He or she wasn’t able to see you were special. And you know what? That should make you want to show him or her and the rest of them that you are indestructible and you’re are going to be successful.  Show them all that you are a boss in your own life. Make those people that never saw your worth, regret not opening their eyes. Go make lots of money. Become a CEO of your future company or whatever you want in life. Be you and be happy.

At Last,

Brielle

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Being Single and Why It Can Be Amazing

I blame all those Korean dramas and rom-com’s for making me believe in perfection…but I am happy as the independent women! Being single can be so awesome and it can suck sometimes. I feel like a lot of people look down on being single, but honestly, its amazing. I have learned a lot being on my own!
It has been enlightening to me, so here are the things I have learned so far as a single girl.

  1. I have discovered myself. I know what I want to do now and have found the right path for me. I discovered a career path and how much I actually love school.

  2. I can do and travel where ever I want by myself. I can live in a different country without my significant other holding me back.

  3. I have trouble understanding my friends and their relationships because I am single. I am also slightly biased to being single.

  4. Relationships take too much thought and thinking. I do enough of that as a college student, thank you, but no thank you.

  5. School is so much easier when you don’t have boys or girls on your mind.

  6. No matter how many years you have on “the boyfriend,” the best friend will always be placed second. Its a truth I still have a hard time accepting. “Chicks before dicks” and “Bro’s before ho’s” is not a real thing (Most of the time!).

  7. Being the third wheel sucks and is awkward, but yet you always get stuck as the third wheel, because you love your friends.

  8.  And everyone tells me that I am single because I am so picky, but F*** that. I have every right to be picky, and I am glad that I am picky. Because I won’t settle for a guy I kind of like. I want a guy I really like. :]]

  9. I have a perfect image in my head of love and I know its not going to be like that, but I am hopelessly waiting for it.

  10. Once I threw boys out of my life, I found happiness. True happiness. I can’t emphasis this enough. Without guys I found what I wanted and what was going to make me happy. Which doesn’t mean I want boys out of my life forever, but some time without them was needed.

So my advice. Find yourself before you find a life with someone else.

And yes, every relationship is different and this may not always be true, but its a good start if you don’t know where you want to go in life. So pack your bags and head to a different country, or enroll in a cool class, or talk about your future with others. Then you will realize what it is you want.

The Life as the Third Wheeler can be pretty awesome.

At Last,

<Brielle