Start From Scratch Life

Like every college senior, I dreaded the question, “What are you going to do after graduation?” Well I gave myself a choice when I started thinking about it, move back with my parents or move far away.

I chose the latter.

I had a few reasons for my move. One being I tend to run away from my unhappiness. Somehow I think that traveling and moving will make things better. In some respect, it does. And in this respect, it did.

I can’t deny that California gave me the best friends that I love with all my heart. And honestly, I miss being surrounded by the best of the best people. But somehow my best friends weren’t enough to keep me in the “blue bubble” of California. Because, realist me, knows that as we grow older, life unfortunately becomes more about creating a life with someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, rather than growing old with your best friend and living with a bunch of cats (or dogs).

It’s an odd truth that I have recently realized. Friends disappear into their relationships and then families are born. Things change.

This is not to stay that friends become irrelevant in your life, but they become less of your everyday. You aren’t in school with them anymore, and when you have a full-time job it’s hard to see them.

Your friends will always be part of your stability and health, that is a fact. But because my friends were making their own futures without me, I also needed to make my future.

So I moved away to create my own life.

There was always this feeling that I was looking for something more. A lot of time I thought I looked for it because I wanted to show my ex I was better than him. But as I found what I was looking for, I think I realized I just wasn’t happy with who I was.

It wasn’t that I wanted to be better for him, I just wanted to be better in general.

As I should. I have high standards for men and I have high standards for myself.

Somehow I found that “better” in the political hustle and bustle of our nations capitol, Washington D.C. And fell in love, with the city and myself. For the first time in my whole entire life I did things for me.



I don’t have any right to tell people how to live. I am who I am and you are who you are. But I will say that, moving and previously living abroad has changed me to be a better person. And in what other time in my life will I be able to so freely move across the country.

It’s not an easy thing to do.

I left my friends and my family.

I left my beautiful 1 year old niece, who will be bigger and bigger every-time I visit.

I left my parents who are getting older and I worry about them more than ever.

And I left my best friends, who are sometimes going through difficult times, and I would give the world to be able to sit there and be a shoulder for them to cry on.

With all that being said, sometimes you have to be selfish.

I moved to South Korea for year a few months after my father had his brain tumor taken out. It was one of the hardest decisions I could have made. I hated leaving my mom alone to take care of him and hated the thought that something bad could happen to my dad while I was away. But my sister looked at me and said, “sometimes you have to do things for yourself.” And I live every day of my life by that saying.

I’m on the east coast, a “start from scratch” life. It has a lot of room for opportunities and growth. With that being said, I couldn’t be happier.

At Last,

The Casual Relationship of this Generation

Previously posted on Mogul also:

There are a lot of things that we all criticize about dating today. It mostly revolves around commitment issues. People love to blame their ex for their broken heart and blame them for the way they are. So because of their ex, they can’t commit.

I fail to believe that this is the case.

Your ex isn’t the reason you don’t want to commit. You just want the fun without the stressors of a relationship. I can’t say I blame you. Relationships are stressful, and who needs them when we are young and beautiful. We can have whoever we want for the night. But you are the one who ignores the angel on your shoulder, and the others who listen to the angel…



A few drinks in…The devil says sleep with them, while the angel wakes you up in his or her bed the next morning saying you want a relationship and a future with someone.

Then there are other people who ignore the angel on their shoulder and listen to the little devil telling them that casual sex is exciting. The devil whispers to them telling them to escape into an emotionless, non-committable abyss.

I guess in today’s society sleeping around with people is normal? Its something “cool” people do.

Interestingly enough though, sleeping with someone and then listening to the angel on your shoulder and inevitably being rejected, isn’t the hurtful part. What hurts is when all of the people around you tell you that you are better than that. Obviously your girl friends are obligated to tell you that you’re amazing. But when all of your guy friends and even male co-workers look you straight in the eye and start telling you that you better than that, and him/her, it hurts you. Are they telling you, you don’t have the right taste in guys or girls?

If I am “amazing” and “the perfect girl that any guy would be lucky to have you,” why is he just sleeping with me?

It baffles me. Many girls and guys around me are great people. They are beautiful, smart, and fun yet their “significant other” won’t commit.

Maybe its the difference between men/women and boys/girls. But even that I am unsure of.

Maybe you have to do the 5 date rule before you sleep with him or her. But even that…

Maybe you have to act like you don’t care so he or she can chase you. But isn’t that childish?

Or maybe he or she just isn’t the right one. But that’s the hopeless romantic talking, who believes that one day prince charming will show up in her life. Childish?

I cant help but find hope in these situations though.

You slept them, so big deal. It probably wasn’t that great right?  Well he or she is just to caught up in societies norms blaming their ex’s for their destruction and addiction to casual relationships. He or she wasn’t able to see you were special. And you know what? That should make you want to show him or her and the rest of them that you are indestructible and you’re are going to be successful.  Show them all that you are a boss in your own life. Make those people that never saw your worth, regret not opening their eyes. Go make lots of money. Become a CEO of your future company or whatever you want in life. Be you and be happy.

At Last,


Drinking Over 21 vs Under 21

My taste in alcohol is not classy. Well drinks, the bottom of the bottom are fine with me because that’s all I can afford… I don’t need the bottle of vodka on the top shelf in my vodka-cran. I guess you could say I haven’t reached that sophisticated drinking mark yet, neither has my bank account. However, I think I am a more sophisticated drinker now that I am 21.

I recently started college, like university life college. Oh yes, that crazy life. And I have had my fair share of parties. As an “old” person (21yo) I have already done my fair share of drinking, and I find myself a more sophisticated than when I was younger.

As a freshmen or at that age, you have escaped from home. You have escaped from your parents watching you. You don’t have to worry about stumbling in drunk and your parents seeing you or having them constantly asking “where you are you? What are you doing?” You are “free.” So people go crazy. Its all about shots, after shots, after shots. Getting drunk really fast so you can be wasted NOW.

Thats not my style. This also might be due to the lack of experience. However, I have tried the ways of the college life, and its not my style. You are sober and all the sudden you are drunk. Not fun. You miss the best part! The tipsy stage.

Of course these stages vary as far as actions and tolerance to each person. But for most here it is.

There are 5 stages:

Stage 1:Sober. Thats self explanatory.

Stage 2: Buzzed. Feeling happy and not as uptight. Definitely more social at this point.

Stage 3: Tipsy. Feeling really good. Maybe getting a little loud. Much more flirty and a total carefree attitude about your actions.

Stage 4:Drunk. Making some dumb decisions, but you are aware of what you are doing somewhat. Laughing a lot, and at this point super loud.

Stage 5: F*cked up. Stumbling, blacking out, and lets hope you aren’t throwing up. You wont remember most of it in the morning. Better hope you have a friend by your side who is soberish or else you’re screwed.

I would rather sip on my vodka cran and slowly feel the tipsyness come up on me. Thats stage 3. I want to enjoy those few hours of middle ground before I get to the part where I say stupid things and maybe make bad decisions. You might decide to continue to drink during this stage… and get shit faced. That’s where you will stumble and fall, drunk text your exes,tell them you miss them and want their body, or drunk text your best friends exes (which is apparently what I do? Not in a weird way!). Basically the stage where you make really stupid decisions.

My point is that being 21, I feel like I am a more sophisticated drinker. Its something you learn. College parties are cool, but I do enjoy the bar once in a while.Where that super handsome man will buy me a drink or maybe I’ll just buy him one ;] Because, you know, feminism, right?

At Last,