Like every college senior, I dreaded the question, “What are you going to do after graduation?” Well I gave myself a choice when I started thinking about it, move back with my parents or move far away.
I chose the latter.
I had a few reasons for my move. One being I tend to run away from my unhappiness. Somehow I think that traveling and moving will make things better. In some respect, it does. And in this respect, it did.
I can’t deny that California gave me the best friends that I love with all my heart. And honestly, I miss being surrounded by the best of the best people. But somehow my best friends weren’t enough to keep me in the “blue bubble” of California. Because, realist me, knows that as we grow older, life unfortunately becomes more about creating a life with someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, rather than growing old with your best friend and living with a bunch of cats (or dogs).
It’s an odd truth that I have recently realized. Friends disappear into their relationships and then families are born. Things change.
This is not to stay that friends become irrelevant in your life, but they become less of your everyday. You aren’t in school with them anymore, and when you have a full-time job it’s hard to see them.
Your friends will always be part of your stability and health, that is a fact. But because my friends were making their own futures without me, I also needed to make my future.
So I moved away to create my own life.
There was always this feeling that I was looking for something more. A lot of time I thought I looked for it because I wanted to show my ex I was better than him. But as I found what I was looking for, I think I realized I just wasn’t happy with who I was.
It wasn’t that I wanted to be better for him, I just wanted to be better in general.
As I should. I have high standards for men and I have high standards for myself.
Somehow I found that “better” in the political hustle and bustle of our nations capitol, Washington D.C. And fell in love, with the city and myself. For the first time in my whole entire life I did things for me.
I don’t have any right to tell people how to live. I am who I am and you are who you are. But I will say that, moving and previously living abroad has changed me to be a better person. And in what other time in my life will I be able to so freely move across the country.
It’s not an easy thing to do.
I left my friends and my family.
I left my beautiful 1 year old niece, who will be bigger and bigger every-time I visit.
I left my parents who are getting older and I worry about them more than ever.
And I left my best friends, who are sometimes going through difficult times, and I would give the world to be able to sit there and be a shoulder for them to cry on.
With all that being said, sometimes you have to be selfish.
I moved to South Korea for year a few months after my father had his brain tumor taken out. It was one of the hardest decisions I could have made. I hated leaving my mom alone to take care of him and hated the thought that something bad could happen to my dad while I was away. But my sister looked at me and said, “sometimes you have to do things for yourself.” And I live every day of my life by that saying.
I’m on the east coast, a “start from scratch” life. It has a lot of room for opportunities and growth. With that being said, I couldn’t be happier.