Start From Scratch Life

Like every college senior, I dreaded the question, “What are you going to do after graduation?” Well I gave myself a choice when I started thinking about it, move back with my parents or move far away.

I chose the latter.

I had a few reasons for my move. One being I tend to run away from my unhappiness. Somehow I think that traveling and moving will make things better. In some respect, it does. And in this respect, it did.

I can’t deny that California gave me the best friends that I love with all my heart. And honestly, I miss being surrounded by the best of the best people. But somehow my best friends weren’t enough to keep me in the “blue bubble” of California. Because, realist me, knows that as we grow older, life unfortunately becomes more about creating a life with someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, rather than growing old with your best friend and living with a bunch of cats (or dogs).

It’s an odd truth that I have recently realized. Friends disappear into their relationships and then families are born. Things change.

This is not to stay that friends become irrelevant in your life, but they become less of your everyday. You aren’t in school with them anymore, and when you have a full-time job it’s hard to see them.

Your friends will always be part of your stability and health, that is a fact. But because my friends were making their own futures without me, I also needed to make my future.

So I moved away to create my own life.

There was always this feeling that I was looking for something more. A lot of time I thought I looked for it because I wanted to show my ex I was better than him. But as I found what I was looking for, I think I realized I just wasn’t happy with who I was.

It wasn’t that I wanted to be better for him, I just wanted to be better in general.

As I should. I have high standards for men and I have high standards for myself.

Somehow I found that “better” in the political hustle and bustle of our nations capitol, Washington D.C. And fell in love, with the city and myself. For the first time in my whole entire life I did things for me.



I don’t have any right to tell people how to live. I am who I am and you are who you are. But I will say that, moving and previously living abroad has changed me to be a better person. And in what other time in my life will I be able to so freely move across the country.

It’s not an easy thing to do.

I left my friends and my family.

I left my beautiful 1 year old niece, who will be bigger and bigger every-time I visit.

I left my parents who are getting older and I worry about them more than ever.

And I left my best friends, who are sometimes going through difficult times, and I would give the world to be able to sit there and be a shoulder for them to cry on.

With all that being said, sometimes you have to be selfish.

I moved to South Korea for year a few months after my father had his brain tumor taken out. It was one of the hardest decisions I could have made. I hated leaving my mom alone to take care of him and hated the thought that something bad could happen to my dad while I was away. But my sister looked at me and said, “sometimes you have to do things for yourself.” And I live every day of my life by that saying.

I’m on the east coast, a “start from scratch” life. It has a lot of room for opportunities and growth. With that being said, I couldn’t be happier.

At Last,

The Casual Relationship of this Generation

Previously posted on Mogul also:

There are a lot of things that we all criticize about dating today. It mostly revolves around commitment issues. People love to blame their ex for their broken heart and blame them for the way they are. So because of their ex, they can’t commit.

I fail to believe that this is the case.

Your ex isn’t the reason you don’t want to commit. You just want the fun without the stressors of a relationship. I can’t say I blame you. Relationships are stressful, and who needs them when we are young and beautiful. We can have whoever we want for the night. But you are the one who ignores the angel on your shoulder, and the others who listen to the angel…



A few drinks in…The devil says sleep with them, while the angel wakes you up in his or her bed the next morning saying you want a relationship and a future with someone.

Then there are other people who ignore the angel on their shoulder and listen to the little devil telling them that casual sex is exciting. The devil whispers to them telling them to escape into an emotionless, non-committable abyss.

I guess in today’s society sleeping around with people is normal? Its something “cool” people do.

Interestingly enough though, sleeping with someone and then listening to the angel on your shoulder and inevitably being rejected, isn’t the hurtful part. What hurts is when all of the people around you tell you that you are better than that. Obviously your girl friends are obligated to tell you that you’re amazing. But when all of your guy friends and even male co-workers look you straight in the eye and start telling you that you better than that, and him/her, it hurts you. Are they telling you, you don’t have the right taste in guys or girls?

If I am “amazing” and “the perfect girl that any guy would be lucky to have you,” why is he just sleeping with me?

It baffles me. Many girls and guys around me are great people. They are beautiful, smart, and fun yet their “significant other” won’t commit.

Maybe its the difference between men/women and boys/girls. But even that I am unsure of.

Maybe you have to do the 5 date rule before you sleep with him or her. But even that…

Maybe you have to act like you don’t care so he or she can chase you. But isn’t that childish?

Or maybe he or she just isn’t the right one. But that’s the hopeless romantic talking, who believes that one day prince charming will show up in her life. Childish?

I cant help but find hope in these situations though.

You slept them, so big deal. It probably wasn’t that great right?  Well he or she is just to caught up in societies norms blaming their ex’s for their destruction and addiction to casual relationships. He or she wasn’t able to see you were special. And you know what? That should make you want to show him or her and the rest of them that you are indestructible and you’re are going to be successful.  Show them all that you are a boss in your own life. Make those people that never saw your worth, regret not opening their eyes. Go make lots of money. Become a CEO of your future company or whatever you want in life. Be you and be happy.

At Last,


Drinking Over 21 vs Under 21

My taste in alcohol is not classy. Well drinks, the bottom of the bottom are fine with me because that’s all I can afford… I don’t need the bottle of vodka on the top shelf in my vodka-cran. I guess you could say I haven’t reached that sophisticated drinking mark yet, neither has my bank account. However, I think I am a more sophisticated drinker now that I am 21.

I recently started college, like university life college. Oh yes, that crazy life. And I have had my fair share of parties. As an “old” person (21yo) I have already done my fair share of drinking, and I find myself a more sophisticated than when I was younger.

As a freshmen or at that age, you have escaped from home. You have escaped from your parents watching you. You don’t have to worry about stumbling in drunk and your parents seeing you or having them constantly asking “where you are you? What are you doing?” You are “free.” So people go crazy. Its all about shots, after shots, after shots. Getting drunk really fast so you can be wasted NOW.

Thats not my style. This also might be due to the lack of experience. However, I have tried the ways of the college life, and its not my style. You are sober and all the sudden you are drunk. Not fun. You miss the best part! The tipsy stage.

Of course these stages vary as far as actions and tolerance to each person. But for most here it is.

There are 5 stages:

Stage 1:Sober. Thats self explanatory.

Stage 2: Buzzed. Feeling happy and not as uptight. Definitely more social at this point.

Stage 3: Tipsy. Feeling really good. Maybe getting a little loud. Much more flirty and a total carefree attitude about your actions.

Stage 4:Drunk. Making some dumb decisions, but you are aware of what you are doing somewhat. Laughing a lot, and at this point super loud.

Stage 5: F*cked up. Stumbling, blacking out, and lets hope you aren’t throwing up. You wont remember most of it in the morning. Better hope you have a friend by your side who is soberish or else you’re screwed.

I would rather sip on my vodka cran and slowly feel the tipsyness come up on me. Thats stage 3. I want to enjoy those few hours of middle ground before I get to the part where I say stupid things and maybe make bad decisions. You might decide to continue to drink during this stage… and get shit faced. That’s where you will stumble and fall, drunk text your exes,tell them you miss them and want their body, or drunk text your best friends exes (which is apparently what I do? Not in a weird way!). Basically the stage where you make really stupid decisions.

My point is that being 21, I feel like I am a more sophisticated drinker. Its something you learn. College parties are cool, but I do enjoy the bar once in a while.Where that super handsome man will buy me a drink or maybe I’ll just buy him one ;] Because, you know, feminism, right?

At Last,


The Misconception of Heartbreak

There’s a misconception about heart break.

My friend came to me after breaking up with her boyfriend. She was heartbroken, obviously. She told me, “You don’t understand what it’s like to go through heartbreak.”

Little did she know I probably had just gone through the worst heartbreak of my life. It may not have been the kind she was thinking of, but it was definitely devastating. My dream university hadn’t accepted me. The university I had worked my ass off to get into for the past 2 years denied me. I had never put my whole heart and worked so hard for anything before. I was told I had an almost guaranteed entry. My application was amazing, so what went wrong? I still couldn’t tell you, but in that one email I had came to realization that my expectations and plans had just crumbled to wastes…

We are sorry to inform you that you were not accepted..”

That was true heartbreak. Tears don’t justify how hurt you are, but I cried for weeks. Its hard even go to the same part of town anywhere near that university because it hurts. Its like avoiding your ex’s house! The hardest part was accepting and moving on, like after any heartbreak. I’m trying to adapt and be optimistic everyday.  “Everything happens for a reason.”

Heartache isn’t just something we experience with the ending of an a relationship. It something we experience when we have expectation. Heartbreak is when we expect and have hope in something or someone. And I don’t think its fair to undermine anyones heartbreak. No matter what, it hurts.

At Last,


***Happy New Year***

Happy New Year to my fellow readers and all those that surround you!

Theres so much emphasis on the new year as it “brings” all these amazing things: First Selfie of 2015, First kiss of 2015

For me its just another day. Nothing changes in a matter of minutes, but I guess it is nice to feel like you have a fresh plate. A plate that will soon be filled with adventures, worries, and love.

I have no resolutions, as I love where I am at in my life. I’m surrounded by so many people I love so much and I am ambitious as ever. I thank 2014 for giving me so much. It was a productive year!
Even though I don’t have any resolutions and I don’t feel like my life has changed in the past 24 hours, I am still super excited for 2015! I will be traveling to New York City and Ireland in March, which I still cant believe! I’m so excited guys!! Then hopefully moving to Michigan for a job and then off to UCLA!  Which will the most amazing experience. An experience I have always wanted. I am terrified, but ready.

I’m excited to share all my experiences with you guys this year.

Thanks for reading!


At Last,

Why I Have Become a Feminist and How It Has Changed My life

If you think feminism is a bad thing and should be looked down upon, then you really don’t understand feminism at all.

Feminism- the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. (Google)

With so much backlash on this video of the girl being catcalled in NYC and other recent events in my life, I have really began to notice the inequalities of women. I truly believed that women were equal to men, but in the past 5 months that belief has been changed.(Thank you for college!) I assume that because I am taking a women history class, my eyes have opened up into this new world of inequalities. Where to begin…….

As I was discussing work life with my co-workers last night, my friends boyfriend was telling me how I had to stick up for myself. He told me to tell the boys in the back of the house to, “fuck off, or shut up” because he does it all the time and thats how he gets respected. And you know what I told him, “Its different for you. You’re a guy. If I did that, I would get fired right then” I never thought those words would come out of my mouth,“Its different for you because our genders are different” Thats makes no sense logically, but in social terms, it makes complete sense. Women are looked down upon especially in the work environment I have been in working in lately. On top of this, I realized that my managers, who were women, never had a say in anything against my male boss. An inequality I never noticed until I took this women’s class.

I don’t mean to categorize all men into being ignorant or anti feminist. However, a lot of men and even women, are ignorant to the inequalities. The catcalling video in NYC when she walked around for 10 hours and was yelled at more than 100 times was not a stunt or a lie. Women, even myself, get catcalled all the time. And I realize there are people that are just being nice ,but we don’t want to stick around and hope that you are the nice one. About 10% of the guys that catcall a women are genuine. However, guys don’t see this issue as a big deal because women “ask” for it or because thats “human instinct.” Its just a simple thing called respect. I know that not every guy catcalls a girl, but the video gave insight. Women get catcalled everyday and it is not comforting. It makes women scared to walk down the street alone.

I am a feminist. I am not ashamed to represent women’s equal rights, and neither should you. Feminism isn’t just a women thing, Men can be feminist too. For example, Joseph Gorden Levitt is a huge advocate for feminism. It is a simple term or thing that represents the fight for equal rights.

You wont see inequalities if you turn your head and look the other way. So look at it straight in the eyes and really think about situations. Let it set in.

At Last,


Back In Time Korea: Stairs of Hell

August 12th, 2010

So let me tell you of how I covered myself with blood.

We had just finished class and I was about to go about on my way home. I was happy and having a great day, but two of my classmates,Elwin and Andrew, come along and ask me if I want to go out to garden five, which is a huge mall. I happily accepted their invitation. I mean I love shopping! Well the mall was a little far out of town. It was in the outer part of main city Seoul, so we had to transfer subways to get there. Well we were in the mitts of transferring lines/trains and going up the escalator, whenI I hear Andrew say,” Oh I hear the train coming!! HURRY!!” So we all start running, because if we decided to wait for the next train it would be like another 15 minutes. Well Elwin and I are running up the escalator and I trip up the stairs. Then we hear Andrew say” oh never mind wrong side of the tracks” We all take a breath and I step off the escalator decide to look at my leg to make sure it is alright and my toe is literally gushing out blood. And then my knee has this huge gash it in. I panicked at the sight of the blood, so I take a seat and Andrew runs to find a bandaid or tissue. Just with my luck, no one was around the train station, I mean NO ONE and the bathrooms were outside of the subway gates, so no tissue. Finally, the train comes and I am sitting there on display as people get off the train and see this bleeding foreigner on the bench. Elwin is using whatever Korean he knows to find a tissue or bandaid. Finally a women came to the rescue and offered a bandaid.

This is not the end.

I decided it would be better for me just to head home since it was only about 10- 15 minutes away from where we were by train.  I hobbled onto the train and off of it, then up the stairs to the rainy bus stop. I’m standing there waiting and a bus drives up into a pot hole and gets water all over my legs. Not very happy about that, but I continue to wait in the mugginess for my bus. Buses usually come every 10 minutes, I waited 35 minutes for my bus to come and it never appeared. And I am still bleeding! So I ended up taking another bus, which took me half way to my home and I walked the rest of the way.
I get home wash off my leg and show my host father and he wants to perform something on my leg. So pulls out this device and I freaked out! I didn’t know what it was and my host father made clothes, he wasn’t a doctor. It turned out to be a little acupuncture tool.

Today was our last day at Sogang University though. I’m really sad. My good friends Melissa and Jessica will be gone as I endure the next year. I met some awesome people on this trip and I think it was cool that we got to learn about Korea, but also about America and how the east coast is different from the west coast! It is something I never put much thought into until now. I still have another 11 months here, and in a way I’m a little jealous of everyone going home, but then I think, if I was here for a summer I would want to stay. So now I and some others get to go to Iksan and experience ,an adventure, hahaha oh golly gee!

Seoul Summer 25

Seoul Winter 34

Seoul summer 1

At Last,