If you read blogs often, especially relationship blogs, you’ll see that the latest trend is writing a open letter to the person you fell for and/or hurt you.
The point of these posts is to say Thank you for teaching me (my worth, how you shouldn’t treat a person, how to let go..etc.) In a nutshell you are saying, “you did all these horrible things to me, but you taught me something in the end, so thank you.”
Unfortunately, I can’t write a letter to say thank you to him.
I can’t write a letter to that boy that didn’t treat me right.
I can’t right a letter to that boy who just wanted me for my body.
And I can’t right a letter to say thank you to that boy that really hurt me, because I have nothing to thank that boy for except the memories.
I honestly didn’t learn anything for future dating.
In the past, I have seen the red flags while talking or dating someone, but like many of us, I pushed them aside.
Guys i’ve talked to would message me only when convenient.
They would only flirt with me, instead of wanting to get to know me.
They would bail on dates.
To those mere flings, I could probably say “Thank you”. They taught me that I’m worth more than a just few minutes out of someones day.
But then I met someone who actually cared…
He didn’t call or text me at 3am or only when convenient.
He never used me for my body. Although, he couldn’t even if he wanted too due to distance.
He didn’t ignore my texts.
He gave me the time in his day.
He treated me perfect, like someone should if they really liked you.
Until……… he just ended it.
I’ve sat here for 4 months trying to figure out what went wrong and where the red flag was. The problem was, there was none.
Maybe perfection was the red flag?
I thought everything was going well and everything was perfect, until one day, out of no where BOOM, he crumbled everything.
Now, our bobbled and botched not even friendship is the complete opposite.
Full of ignoring, convenience, no time given, and not caring.
How could someone just change?
I’d love for this post to feature advice for your similar situation, but it can’t.
I’ve been longing for an explanation because I deserve that much. But I’ve finally given up on trying to figure it out because people will do what they want, when they want.
It’s definitely not easy, but sometimes we have to bury the idea that there’s always an explanation.
It took me 4 months filled with tears and frustrations to understand this. Until finally,I lost the energy to try to understand someone.
If someone truly wants you they will do anything to get you. No matter what stands in the way.
Maybe that is what I learned and experienced?
I will continue to live by these philosophies in life because they really are what get me through the hard times.
If its meant to be it will be.
Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, more than likely its shit.