All the Signs were Right and I was Still Wrong

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We become pathetic when we try to find truth in the littlest things. Are you just being friendly or are you having feelings? Gray areas are not fun.

They texted me first, they must still like me.

They acted like they were jealous, obviously they still like me.

They do this and they do that, of course they still have feelings!

I’ve been there. And I know that even I feel ridiculous when I start thinking like that, but I still do it. Not because I am a girl,but because I am a human being.

When you start reading into the signs, things seem to make sense in your twisted mind.

I mean If someone doesn’t care about you anymore, why do they make the effort to stay in your life? You don’t want sex but you want to be friends? Well What’s the point of being friends when you can’t even have a normal conversation with them anymore?

As hard as it is to refrain yourself from reading the signs, just don’t step into that gray area.  Just stop and simply be direct. Do you or do you not?

Then you can comfortably step over the gray area and move on. Honest. Straight forward. From my own experiences and from being observant of others, just simply be direct. Honesty is important in any relationship.

I might be slightly venting on my own situation.

I got caught up in reading the signs instead of just simply asking.

I made a mistake.

I wish I would have known.

I wish someone would have told me to just ask. I mean plenty of people told me to walk away and forget him, which isn’t easy when you have hope.

So I held on, until today. I decided I was over the unknown and I would just ask, “Do you have feelings for me still?” After a month of reading signs and almost being positive he still had feelings, I discovered the answer.

You can probably guess the answer I received.

Rather than being sad I lost him (because I think I knew I lost him on that day two months ago) I was scared instead.  And it wasn’t the fear of being alone.

He gave me all the signs of being into me. We planned a future. Inviting me to  New York City with his sister in 4 months, taking trips together around Europe, buying a ticket to come see me (and yes he bought it), he called me almost every morning, and facetimed me every week despite his busy schedule. He didn’t just say he would do something, but he did it. He treated me well.He put effort into our relationship.

Then literally within a day he realized he didn’t have feelings anymore.

I sat there crying, and I wasn’t necessarily crying because I lost him, but rather because how am I supposed to know if someone is committed?

He gave me all the signs, and even with that, I ended up being wrong. I gave my all into this person, I was optimistic about our future and all the sudden he just left me. That scares me to death and makes me never want to fall for anyone ever again.

Love makes us pathetic. Which is not a bad thing! Love makes us vulnerable and that can make us feel pathetic sometimes. If you don’t feel vulnerable then you aren’t doing love right. I mean relationships are about complete honesty. I was completely honest in my relationship and I don’t regret anything because of that. There is nothing I could have done to keep him because I didn’t do anything wrong. I was completely me, and although I have flaws, I believe i am perfect in my own way.

At Last,

Brielle

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